10 Years, 2050 Movies, And Still Going

I've been seeing a lot of "Best of the Decade" posts rolling out.  I think that's dumb because the decade isn't over until the end of 2020.  I don't know what kind of math those people are using but I have never started counting at zero.  However, it has been exactly ten years since I started this blog so instead of my usual End of the Year review, I thought I'd look back at my top 25 favorite films of the last ten years.  I had to winnow down from 807 posts so I really hope you fuckers appreciate the time and effort this took.

25.  Easy A -- This is easily a new high school rom-com classic.  

24.  Captain America:  The First Avenger  -- I was surprised when I was putting this list together how well the Captain America segments of the MCU held up.  

23.  The Conjuring  -- This spawned an entire franchise universe that has been (mostly) successful on every entry.  

22.  Captain America:  The Winter Soldier  -- Honestly, this would still be a good movie even if the rest of the MCU went away.  It would make no sense but it would still be good.

21.  13 Assassins  -- This is way higher on the the list than it would have been if I had not just recently watched it again.  I'm glad I did, though, because it really is intensely beautiful and sad and timely.

20.  Cabin in the Woods  -- Horror comedy classic and the only horror comedy to make the list.

19.  Get Out -- This wasn't just a movie.  This was a cultural phenomenon.  Jordan Peele transcended genre to bring a masterpiece of social commentary to the forefront.

18.  Inside Out  -- Of all the Pixar movies, this was the one I identified with the most.

17.  Deadpool 2  -- This could have been a total cash grab and instead it managed to have a really sweet message about found family.

16.  Logan  -- The best possible way the X-Men movies could have ended.  Too bad they just kept going...

15.  It:  Chapter One  -- I had to add the colon because now there are two of them.  

14.  Black Swan  -- Still my favorite Natalie Portman performance of all time.  

13.  Deadpool  -- This exists solely because of Ryan Reynolds and it is perfect.

12.  Avengers:  Endgame  -- I mean, it had to be on the list.  It's such a fucking downer, though.

11.  Little Women  -- Again, this probably would not be on here if it weren't so fresh in my mind but it is a really good adaptation of one of my absolute favorite books.

10.  Green Room  -- If Anton Yelchin hadn't died, this probably wouldn't be here.

9.  The Man from Nowhere  -- John Wick before there was John Wick.

8.  Toy Story 4  -- The sequel literally no one asked for, yet it turned out to somehow be the exact story I needed to hear.

7.  A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night  -- This was such a nice surprise.  Nothing else is like it.  Really a gem.

6.  Toy Story 3  -- The most perfect Pixar movie ever made.  I still remember an entire theater of people sobbing during the ending.  

5.  Hereditary  -- God, I love this movie.

4.  Blancanieves  -- I really didn't expect this to wind up this high on the list but I couldn't stop thinking about it ever since I watched it.

3.  Mad Max:  Fury Road  -- Monumental, wild, explosive, amazing.  Words don't do Charlize Theron justice.

2.  Avengers:  Infinity War  -- I don't think this is a "better" movie than Mad Max but no other film dominated discourse like this one.  Endgame was never going to live up to the standards of suspense left by Infinity War.

1.  John Wick  -- No one saw this coming.  This movie launched Keanu Reeves back into the spotlight, kickstarted the directorial careers of David Leitch and Chad Stahelski, and sent action fans into paroxysms of joy.  Never has carnage looked so good.

So those are my favorites of the last ten years.  Feel free to disagree.  Thank all of you for reading and I look forward to spending another ten years screaming my opinions into the void.

Little Women (2019)

  I was not going to watch this initially.  Little Women was one of my absolute favorite books as a child and I could not get over my fear that this adaptation would ruin it.  But two of my friends also loved that book and convinced me to see it with them today as a group.

Jo March (Saoirse Ronan) is trying to make it as a writer in New York City.  She has had some success with sordid little romances in serials but her pride is checked when they are reviewed unfavorably by a professor she admires (Louis Garrel).  A family emergency prompts her to return home to her sister, Beth (Eliza Scanlan), who is gravely ill.  On her journey, Jo remembers her childhood and reflects on how their lives have changed.

This is definitely not for people new to the story.  You really need to have read the book.  The movie timeline is not linear and it jumps from "present" to "past" in ways that could be confusing if you are unfamiliar with the source material.  I think the casting was very good, but I did not like the direction given to Florence Pugh as Amy.  She basically just pouts and frowns a lot (which, to be fair, is what book Amy does) but it just seemed kind of a waste for Pugh.  She does have more of a dramatic scene with Laurie (Timothée Chalamet) in Paris than she gets in the book, so that kind of makes up for it.  All in all, there was a lot more depth of emotion from these portrayals than any other adaptation I have seen.  Especially Chris Cooper as Mr. Lawrence.  He was the best I've ever seen him here.

If I am really mad about any decision made here, it's got to be the depiction of Freidrich Bhaer.  He is supposed to be based on Louisa May Alcott's crush, Ralph Waldo Emerson, a man twenty years older than her.  Book Friedrich is large, older, German, and homely.  Louis Garrel is French, 36, and looks like a male model.  It is some bullshit.

I do not like Greta Gerwig, neither as an actress nor as a director.  This is much better than Lady Bird, however.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

  Has everyone seen this now?  Can we talk about it?  If you haven't, there are probably spoilers ahead (though I will try to be vague) so you might as well stop reading now and come back when you've seen the movie.

Rey (Daisy Ridley) is still training to be a Jedi while Finn (John Boyega) and Poe (Oscar Isaac) have made contact with a spy claiming to be within the First Order who has intel that Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) is now collaborating with the "I Lived, Bitch" former emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid).  Palpatine is still hellbent on achieving interstellar domination and has raised an entire army for Kylo Ren to take if he will just murder that pesky girl Jedi.  Or have the pesky girl accept her dark side and ascend to the throne, he's not picky.  Everybody else mostly gets short-changed.

Not going to lie, I had a lot of issues with this one.  I did not like the retconning of Rey's origins.  I thought it was much more egalitarian to have the Force just kind of pop up in individuals of any species or race, but they went ahead and turned it into a legacy thing.  I would have loved to see Finn progress and be recognized as a Force sensitive.  I would have liked to see Disney stop being fucking cowards about the Finn/Poe 'ship.  I thought the C-3PO sacrifice was rushed and extremely poorly handled.  There was no fallout and it should have been a major moment for a character that has been integral to the previous 8 chapters of this story.

There were things I did like.  Evil Marionette Palpatine.  Palpatine using Force lightning.  Evil Rey.  Evil Rey using Force lightning.  Keri Russell being smoking hot.  That little gremlin dude with the inexplicable Russian baby voice.  Did I mention the Force lightning?  I liked that part a lot.

I dunno, man.  I just kind of wish this had the same impact as season one of The Mandalorian.  Sure, that also had problems with pacing, filler episodes, and predictability, but I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to the next season.  As for TROS, I'm kind of glad this saga is over.  Maybe now explore other aspects of this universe instead of just this one family's feud against the government.

Blancanieves (2012)

  This movie is stunning in every sense.  First, it's a fake silent film, like The Artist, so you're probably thinking easy double feature, right?  No, friends.  You should pair this gorgeous, crisp black-and-white with Tarsem Singh's The Fall for maximum impact.  Yes, he also did Mirror, Mirror, a take on Snow White but the less said about that film the better.  This is the only Snow White adaptation you will ever need again.

Carmen (Macarena Garcia) grew up a lonely little girl, relegated to serving in her father's house by her evil stepmother, Encarna (Maribel Verdú).  Her father (Daniel Geménez Cacho), a famous bullfighter paralyzed by an unfortunate accident, loves her but is powerless against the cruel yet fabulous Encarna.  After securing the bullfighter's fortune with murder, Encarna sets her chauffeur (Pere Ponce) to kill Carmen.  She is presumed dead but secretly rescued by a troupe of traveling dwarf toreadors.  Now amnesiac and reinvented as Blancanieves, she begins making a name for herself on the bullfighting circuit, which brings her back around to Encarna's evil grasp.

I cannot stress to you what a boss bitch Encarna is.  Verdú is all camp here, rocking some flapper glamour.  Like, she could definitely be BFF with Cruella DeVil and Cate Blanchett's Lady Tremaine.  How boss is this bitch?  That's her on the poster, instead of the heroine.  When I say she steals a scene, she. steals. the. Film.  I would buy this movie for her performance alone.  If you're in the mood, it is streaming on Criterion.  Warning, the ending will come out and punch you right in the dick.  Just sayin'.

13 Assassins (2010)

Well, I finally made it all the way through the server and looped around back to the beginning.  I did buy this movie, FYI, and it's still just as glorious as it was when I first watched it.  Twitch is now a completely different website.  A lot of shit has changed over the decade.  I'm gearing up to doing a full Best of the Decade list instead of my usual best of the year.  It's just taking a long time.  

Everything I originally said about this movie still stands.  Originally posted 17 Oct 2011.      

I have been waiting for quite some time to see this one.  I read about it on Twitch ages ago.  If you're not familiar, Twitch is a great source of reviews and previews of Asian and festival films.  I don't think I've mentioned it before on the blog, but I've been waiting for a new job to start for almost a month and a half now.  On the one hand it's great because I get to watch a lot more movies than I had been, but on the other, it sucks because I have zero discretionary funds.  That means no going to the theater and no buying new films.  I either have to wait for it on Netflix, or beg Rob to get it.  This is one of the latter.

It is the tail end of the Edo era.  The age of samurai is waning and there has been peace under the Shogun.  However, the Shogun's younger half-brother, Lord Naritsugu (Goro Inagaki), threatens that peace by being a complete psycho.  Due to restrictions of honor, the Shogun can't have his brother 'taken care of', so one of his senior advisors takes the responsibility and contacts Shinzaemon Shimada (Koji Yakusho), a well-respected samurai to take out the evil Lord.  Shinzaemon puts together a team of 11 other samurai (they come across the last guy about halfway through the movie) to help him outwit his old schoolmate, Hanbei (Masachika Ichimura), Naritsugu's top general.

There is a ton of violence in this movie.  Almost the entire last hour of the film is one extended battle scene, which is awesome.  With 13 good guys it's a little difficult to remember all the character's names, but only about 5 of them have speaking parts so that helps.  There are a lot of similarities between this and Kurasawa's Seven Samurai which I hope are intentional homages and not just an ultra-bloody ripoff.

I plan on buying this one at some point when I start getting paid again.

Valiant (2005)

  Seriously, except for The Mandalorian, Disney+ is not making much of a case for why I should throw money at it.  (But also seriously, The Mandalorian is totally worth the money.)

This is a fucking weird one.  It's not properly a Disney film, it was made in conjunction with several British production companies, and you can tell.  It also goes to show you how devastating Pixar was to Disney in the early 00s, since this was made just before Disney's re-acquisition of that company in 2006.

Valiant (Ewan McGregor) is a small pigeon desperate to join the war effort in WWII England but keeps getting rejected for his diminutive stature.  So he agrees to be a test subject for a super-soldier serum -- just kidding.  He name-drops the pigeon commander Gutsy (Hugh Laurie) in a bid to scam his way in with his buddy Bugsy (Ricky Gervais), and it works.  After mostly completing basic training, Valiant and Bugsy join Commander Gutsy in a super secret mission to retrieve plans from the French Resistance and carry them back without falling prey to the German falcon, Von Talon (Tim Curry.)

This movie has an incredible cast for how shitty it is.  The computer animation is obviously still in its infancy and the plot is weirdly dark for a Disney film, even a borrowed one.  Example:  There's a shot  of all the pigeons Von Talon has killed, sewn back together, and stuffed on his mantle, a row of little corpses on display that our hero has to hide among to escape notice.  That's creepy AF.  There's also a weirdly gross sexualization of female pigeons at the beginning.  I get that it's meant to emulate the real WWII propaganda but A) still gross and B) this was made in 2005, no excuses.  Also, C) it's a kid's movie.  WTF.

76th Golden Globe Nominations

And so it begins.  Awards season is underway with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association picking the movies and TV they think are worth talking about.  Sometimes it's a bellwether for the Oscars, sometimes it's completely out of left field.  Either way, I'm bringing it here to you.  Me and every other movie site.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

1917
The Irishman
Joker
Marriage Story
The Two Popes

No real surprises here, except maybe  The Two Popes.  I haven't really seen anybody talking about that one.  Three of the five nominees here are Netflix exclusives, so that's another blow for streaming services.

Best Motion Picture - Comedy

Dolemite is My Name
Jojo Rabbit
Knives Out
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Rocketman

Some heavy hitters in this category.

Best Actress - Drama

Cynthia Erivo - Harriet
Scarlett Johansson - Marriage Story
Saoirse Ronan - Little Women
Charlize Theron - Bombshell
Renee Zellweger - Judy

I can't believe they remade Little Women again.  It's supposed to be good but I fucking hate Greta Gerwig.  I just don't get why people like her.

Best Actor - Drama

Christian Bale - Ford vs Ferrari
Antonio Banderas - Pain and Glory
Adam Driver - Marriage Story
Joaquin Phoenix - Joker
Jonathan Pryce - The Two Popes

Again, no surprises here.

Best Actress - Comedy

Awkwafina - The Farewell
Cate Blanchett - Where'd You Go Bernadette?
Ana de Armas - Knives Out
Beanie Feldstein - Booksmart
Emma Thompson - Late Night

This is some fresh blood, though.  I love it when Emma Thompson gets nominated for stuff because she'll get drunk and throw her shoes around and it's hilarious.

Best Actor - Comedy

Daniel Craig - Knives Out
Roman Griffin Davis - Jojo Rabbit
Leonardo DiCaprio - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Taron Egerton - Rocketman
Eddie Murphy - Dolemite is My Name

I'm actually really excite about this race.  I'm actually thinking Daniel Craig and Eddie Murphy are the frontrunners here.  People have been raving about Knives Out and Dolemite is My Name.

Best Director

Bong Joon Ho - Parasite
Sam Mendes - 1917
Todd Phillips - Joker
Martin Scorsese - The Irishman
Quentin Tarantino - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

I really want Bong Joon Ho to take this one.

Best Screenplay

Marriage Story
Parasite
The Two Popes
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
The Irishman

I haven't seen any of these yet so I can't venture an opinion.

Best Foreign Language Film

The Farewell
Les Misérables
Pain and Glory
Parasite
Portrait of a Lady on Fire

It's going to come down to taste for this one.  I've heard great things about Portrait of a Lady but Almodovar is a favorite of the HFPA.

Best Animated Film

Frozen 2
How to Train Your Dragon:  The Hidden World
The Lion King
Missing Link
Toy Story 4

Disney is representing 3/5 here but I love Laika and I so want it to win.

Best Original Score

Little Women
Joker
Marriage Story
1917
Motherless Brooklyn

Best Original Song

"Beautiful Ghosts" - Cats
"I'm Gonna Love Me Again" - Rocketman
"Into the Unknown" - Frozen 2
"Spirit" - The Lion King
"Stand Up" - Harriet

Ha!  Fucking Cats.  This is the song Taylor Swift co-wrote with Andrew Lloyd Weber and it barely made the cutoff to be included.  The movie won't even release until Christmas.

Best Supporting Actress - Drama or Comedy

Kathy Bates - Richard Jewell
Annette Benning - The Report
Laura Dern - Marriage Story
Jennifer Lopez - Hustlers
Margot Robbie - Bombshell

It is a fucking crime that Jennifer Lopez got stuck down in Supporting Actress instead of lead.  From what I understand, she carries the whole movie.

Best Supporting Actor - Drama or Comedy

Tom Hanks - A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Anthony Hopkins - The Two Popes
Al Pacino - The Irishman
Joe Pesci - The Irishman
Brad Pitt - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Likewise, I'm really surprised to see Tom Hanks down here considering the movie is about Mr. Rogers and he is playing Mr. Rogers.  But also, I really want Joe Pesci to win over everyone else.  It would be hilarious.

Best TV Series - Drama

Big Little Lies
The Crown
Killing Eve
The Morning Show
Succession

Best Actress in a TV Show - Drama

Jennifer Aniston - The Morning Show
Olivia Colman - The Crown
Jodie Comer - Killing Eve
Nicole Kidman - Big Little Lies
Reese Witherspoon - Big Little Lies

Best Actor in a TV Show - Drama

Brian Cox - Succession
Kit Harington - Game of Thrones
Rami Malek - Mr. Robot
Tobias Menzies - The Crown
Billy Porter - Pose

Best TV Series - Comedy

Barry
Fleabag
The Kominsky Method
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
The Politician

Best Actress in a TV Show - Comedy

Christina Applegate - Dead to Me
Rachel Brosnahan - The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Kirsten Dunst - On Becoming a God in Central Florida
Natasha Lyonne - Russian Doll
Phoebe Waller-Bridge - Fleabag

Best Actor in a TV Show - Comedy

Micheal Douglas - The Kominsky Method
Bill Hader - Barry
Ben Platt - The Politician
Paul Rudd - Living With Yourself
Ramy Youssef - Ramy

Best Limited Series or Made-for-TV Movie

Catch-22
Chernobyl
Fosse/Verdon
The Loudest Voice
Unbelievable 

Best Actor in a Limited Series or Made-for-TV Movie

Christopher Abbott - Catch-22
Russell Crowe - The Loudest Voice
Jared Harris - Chernobyl
Sam Rockwell - Fosse/Verdon
Sacha Baron Cohen - The Spy

Best Actress in a Limited Series or Made-for-TV Movie

Kaitlyn Dever - Unbelievable
Joey King - The Act
Helen Mirren - Catherine the Great
Merritt Wever - Unbelievable
Michelle Williams - Fosse/Verdon

Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Made-for-TV Movie

Patricia Arquette - The Act
Toni Collette - Unbelievable
Meryl Streep - Big Little Lies
Emily Watson - Chernobyl
Helena Bonham Carter - The Crown

Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Made-for-TV Movie

Alan Arkin - The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin - Succession
Andrew Scott - Fleabag
Stellan Skarsgård - Chernobyl
Henry Winkler - Barry

I have seen none of these shows so I can offer zero opinions here.

So there you go.  This year's crop of nominees is all new to me.  The only one I've seen is Toy Story 4.  Oscar nominations are still a month away, so we'll see how it shakes out.  This is still pretty early to call it.

Meet John Doe (1941)

  Did you ever put on a movie only to find that it perfectly matches your current situation or time of year or a person you knew?  I put Meet John Doe on, knowing practically nothing about it, and found that not only is it a Christmas movie, it's the Christmas movie I didn't know I needed.

Ann (Barbara Stanwyck) is a journalist laid off by a callous editor (James Gleason).  Angry and desperate, Ann writes a last article claiming that a man named John Doe is going to jump off the roof of City Hall at midnight on Christmas Eve in protest for corruption in government and the general shitty state of the world in the grips of the Great Depression and a looming second World War.  The editor is furious at what could potentially be a huge embarrassment for the paper, but the owner, a millionaire named D. B. Norton (Edward Arnold), sees potential in the story for raising circulation.  Ann hires John Willoughby (Gary Cooper), a former bush league baseball player turned hobo, to pose as John Doe.  Alls well and good until a few speeches turns into a rallying cry from millions of Americans in need of hope.  Then the wolves descend.

This is an incredibly relevant story today.  In a country where the divide between rich and poor grows more insurmountable by the day, where politicians are bought by corporations, and human rights are thrown out so a billionaire can make a few extra pennies then get lauded by the press for contributing them to charity, Meet John Doe could have been made yesterday.  The messianic parallels are a little too on the nose for me but it remains one of the least sappy Christmas stories about suicide you'll see.

It's streaming on Amazon Prime or for free on Tubi.  Honestly, I think this should replace your annual viewing of It's a Wonderful Life, all due respect to Jimmy Stewart.

Fallen Angels (1995)

  I hated this movie.  It was meandering and pointless and I just barely held on long enough to finish it.  It's supposed to be a companion piece to another film called Chungking Express but I am now questioning whether or not I even want to bother with it.

Two unrelated storylines play out in '90s Hong Kong.  In one, a hitman (Leon Lai) decides to quit, discomfiting his assistant (Michelle Reis), who is obsessed with him.  In the other, a mute (Takeshi Kaneshiro) pines for a woman (Charlie Yeung) trying to get her ex-boyfriend back.

I was so fucking bored, you guys.  I did not give a shit about any of these characters, their lives and motivations were completely alien to me.  As far as the cinematography and direction... choices were made.  I respect that Wong Kar-Wai made choices even if I don't agree with them.  There was just nothing here for me.  Maybe it's for you.  Maybe you like disaffected, depressed people at loose ends in their lives.  If so, it's streaming on the Criterion Channel.

The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet (1982)

  I have always hated this play.  Yeah, I said it.  I've actually liked very few of Mr. Shakespeare's oeuvre but this is definitely one of my least favorites.  Did I pick it just so I could talk shit about one of the most highly regarded plays in the history of theater?  Maybe.

Romeo (Alex Hyde-White) is upset over having been rejected by the girl he thought he loved so his cousin (Fredric Lehne) sneaks him into a costume party held by a rival family.  There he meets Juliet (Blanche Baker), the only daughter of the house, attending the party so she could meet her prospective fiancé.  Instead, she meets Romeo, they hit it off, and before you know it, it's white doves and rice and the blessings of both their-- oh, wait, no.  They are emo teens who swear a suicide pact with each other while the city dissolves in chaos as this long-running feud is brought to a head.  Cool.

This isn't actually a terrible adaptation.  It's very straightforward, no ad-libs, no trying to "punch up" the material, acted on a real stage with only minor adjustments to being filmed.  The performers are professionals and every one of them is up for giving the material its due.  I have some complaints, though.  The cinematography is complete garbage.  It looks like the whole thing is out of focus and not even a 4K TV can fix it.  Given that it is clearly a filmed version of a theatrical performance, I suppose I shouldn't be mad that the actors are in no way close to the actual characters' ages.  They are both clearly in their mid- to late-20's playing people a decade younger.  But I am.

Look, these being stupid, spoiled, rich kids is the only thing that makes the story work.  They have to be young enough to think that no one has ever felt like they do, old enough to hate authority and refuse to seek advice, spoiled enough to think that the only option is suicide when they hit any kind of obstacle, and sheltered enough to go through with it.  That is a very narrow range, people, and seeing people with mortgages and heath insurance payments act it out just kind of ruins it.

There is literally a version of Romeo and Juliet being filmed every year.  Go to IMDb.  You will find entries from 1908 to present.  Is this the best version?  No.  Do I want to sift through 111 different adaptations to find a version I like?  Also no.  This one is from the year I was born.  Maybe pick a version from the year you were born.  Make a game out of it.  God knows there's plenty of them out there.

2 Guns (2013)

  Christy had given me a digital copy of this ages ago and I finally am cycling back through the server.  Which probably means more reposts in the near future but what can you do?  I only own so many.

Bobby (Denzel Washington) and Stigs (Mark Wahlberg) are a couple of two-bit criminals who decide to knock over a bank where a drug kingpin (Edward James Olmos) keeps his petty cash.  They figure about $3 million, enough to kind of tweak the old man's nose but actually get away with $43.125 million because the bank is actually a front for a CIA slush fund.  Now Bobby and Stigs are running from the cartel and the CIA and to make matters worse, neither one knows that the other is an undercover cop.

This is a really dumb, really fun buddy cop film that's great for a cold, rainy day.  There's no real stakes, you just turn your brain off and watch Washington be charming and Wahlberg talk a lot.  There's boobs and explosions and James Marsden and Bill Paxton (RIP) and CGI chickens.  There's a lot.  And it's loud and stupid and funny.  Generally, I am not a fan of any of those things but sometimes it just works.