Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

  There are still people out there that have never seen any of the Star Wars movies.  I'm not just talking about the cinematic mutants that are the prequels, either, I'm talking any of the Star Wars movies.  That just blows my mind.  This post is dedicated to you bunch of freaks.

Ok, back in the late 70's and early 80's there was a set of three movies that defined awesomeness in sci-fi for decades to come.  These were the original three Star Wars movies, chapters 4-6.  Why did they start with chapters 4-6?  Presumably for dramatic effect.  It won an Oscar for Best Sound and got a Special Achievement Award for Visual Effects.  This was some cutting edge shit back in the day.

This is the middle part of the trilogy, arguably the best cinematically.  My personal favorite is Return of the Jedi but I digress.  There's a prologue at the beginning to catch you up if you haven't seen the previous one.  Basically, there are rebels on the run from the forces of an autocratic empire that wants to rule the galaxy.  Helping the rebels is Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), a young man training to be a Jedi knight so he can defeat the evil Lord Darth Vader (David Prowse/James Earl Jones).  To do this, Skywalker goes to a swamp planet housing the greatest living Jedi warrior:  Yoda (Frank Oz).  Meanwhile, his friends Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) are chased around by imperial troops and finally take refuge with Han's friend Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams).  Luke sees a vision of the future telling him that it's a trap and leaves his training to go save his friends.

Seriously, just go watch the movie.  If you can, try and get one of the versions that hasn't been "adjusted" later by George Lucas.  Recently, a Blu-ray set of all six movies was released.  Rob gave me crap for not using that, instead of my old-school DVDs.  What can I say?  I like my movies free of tampering.  Eventually, I'll get around to his shiny box set if only so I can make fun of the prequels here.  Right now, I'm finishing up season one of the BBC version of Being Human.  I saw the American version and I think they're both pretty similar.  The one thing that is very different is that the British version is only six episodes so everything gets crammed into a much tighter timeline.  I did like how the American version treated the ghost character, how they had her be a lot more limited.

Pontypool (2008)

  This was a great little Canadian zombie film.  As you may know, it has been an on-going quest to map the different attributes of zombies around the world. Japanese zombies can shoot at you, Thai zombies use teamwork, English zombies are fast, and so forth.  Well, apparently, Canadian zombies can't shut up.

Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie) is a radio DJ for a small town in Ontario called Pontypool.  On his way to work one day, he has a strange encounter with a woman who bangs on his car window at a stop light, then disappears into the snow.  He writes it off and does his show, only to receive a news report from their traffic guy of a mob of people attacking a doctor's office.  Isolated at the radio station with only his producer Sidney (Lisa Houle) and his tech person Laurel-Ann (Georgina Reilly), Grant grows increasingly convinced that something terrible is happening.  Ned the traffic guy reports sights of cannibalism and destruction and the peculiar fact that the perpetrators seem to be afflicted with some sort of speech disorder.  They all repeat phrases over and over.  The military interrupts the broadcast with the announcement, in French, that the city is under quarantine and that citizens are asked not to speak to each other, especially not in English.  See, that's how the illness travels.  It latches onto a word and, once understood, affects the hearer.  Now Grant must figure out how to save the people around him.  But how do you un-understand your mother tongue?

I thought this was an extremely interesting concept, less of a zombie virus and more like a zombie meme, an idea that is passed and shared among people.  You can kill a virus with a vaccine but you can't kill an idea.  And the idea that repeating a word until it becomes meaningless--glossolalia--as a form of immune response is clever.  Think of how fast something like that would spread.  Think of how many people you talk to, listen to, on a daily basis.  And it would only take a couple of good bilingual people for it to jump between languages.  Granted, the idea stops short at reality but that's what makes it a good horror movie:  you get the delicious thrill of the "what if" tempered by the secure knowledge that you'll never have to find out for real.

If you're a 28 Days Later fan, I think you'd definitely appreciate this one.

The Vanishing (1988)

  It's been a while since I did a fucked up foreign film.  This one is more weird than most.  And that's saying something.

Dutch couple Rex (Gene Bervoets) and Saskia (Johanna ter Steege) are vacationing in France when Saskia is abducted at a rest stop.  After searching for her for three years, Rex starts getting postcards from her abductor (Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu).  He offers Rex a chance to know the truth about what happened to Saskia but only if he will see it through to the very end.

KIDS!  Do not ever agree to something like this.  It will end badly.  I don't want to completely ruin the movie, but I will say that only a foreign film would have an ending like that.  Apparently, the director did an American version of the film in '93 with Keifer Sutherland, Sandra Bullock, and Jeff Bridges.  I haven't seen that so I don't know if it's a shot-for-shot remake.  I would imagine not, since Americans generally shy away from such unrelenting bleakness.  If anybody has seen that version, hit up the comments and let me know how the ending is.

I thought the movie was pretty good, not one that I would ever own but worth watching.  The pacing is a bit slow but that ramps up the creepiness of it all.

Bedtime Stories (2008)

  I fully expected that I would not like this movie but it ended up being quite charming, a rare adjective from me concerning an Adam Sandler movie.  The CGI for all the fantasy sequences really set it on a higher plane, I think, as well as the supporting cast.  Guy Pearce apparently has a much finer sense of humor than I would ever have guessed to be able to make fun of himself so completely.

Skeeter (Adam Sandler) is a handyman at a mega-hotel.  Despite a promise to his father (Jonathan Pryce), the hotel owner intends to turn management over to his daughter's boyfriend (Guy Pearce).  Skeeter vents about this in the bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew.  Unexpectedly, elements of the stories come to life after the kids' suggestions.  He tries to manipulate them for his own gain with mixed results.

There are supporting roles from Lucy Lawless, Keri Russell, Russell Brand, and Courteney Cox.

Spaceballs (1987)

  This movie is a classic and if you haven't seen it, you should be very ashamed of yourself.

Mel Brooks directs and acts in this spoof of Star Wars about a ruthless group of people called Spaceballs who have squandered all their air and try to steal the atmosphere from their peaceful neighbors Planet Druidia.  The evil Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) attempts to kidnap Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) after she runs away from her wedding.  However, her father (Dick Van Patten) reaches out to a space mercenary named Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) to rescue her.  This sparks an intergalactic chase.

Honestly, I can't even tell you how many jokes are in this movie.  It's got fantastic one-liners that still get repeated and cameos from tons of stars.  It's definitely one of Mel Brooks' best movies.

The Trouble with Harry (1955)

  And we're back to normal!  At least for a week.  Then another of Rob's friends is coming to town and I'll have to be sociable and whatnot again.  It's taxing.  But, until then, let's enjoy another fine film!

This is Alfred Hitchcock's second American comedy and it's very typical of the man.  Captain Wiles (Edmund Gwenn) is out rabbit hunting (despite clearly posted signs prohibiting the activity) and comes across a dead body.  Fearing that he had accidentally shot the man, he proceeds to attempt to get rid of him only to be interrupted numerous times.  There's so much foot traffic he ups and falls asleep waiting for the coast to be clear.  The local artist (John Forsyth) stumbles across the corpse and tries to help the good captain out with the identification.  Hearing that the young woman (Shirley MacLaine) and her son who had just moved to town had called the stiff by name, he heads over to her place to interrogate her.  She admits that the body is that of her second husband, Harry, who had married her because she was his brother's widow but who didn't want anything to do with her until very recently.  She also admits to hitting him over the head with a milk bottle.  Meanwhile, Captain has a date with his neighbor (Mildred Natwick) who admits that she cracked the man over the head with a shoe for attacking her in her garden.

It's a cute movie that is much less concerned with whodunit than it is with making sure everyone ends up happily.  The humor is sly and dark, with a good deal of innuendo.  If you've only known Hitchcock through his suspense thrillers, this is a good departure.

Smokin' Aces (2006)

  I almost forgot to write about this one.  I was so busy all week with Rob and his dad, I barely even had time to watch movies I hadn't already reviewed.  For instance, his dad had never seen Kung Fu Panda so the three of us watched that one night, and then Rob wanted to jump into KFP2 the next night, but I just watched it recently so I skipped downstairs to bake a vinegar pie.  What?  I have other hobbies.

While the puff pastry crust was pre-baking, I tossed on some Smokin' Aces because nothing puts me in a better frame of mind than madcap assassination movies.

Buddy "Aces" Israel (Jeremy Piven) is in trouble.  A mobster named Primo wants his heart and not in a buy-chocolates-and-send-love-letters kind of way.  He's trying to cut a deal for testimony with the FBI, who has two agents (Ryan Reynolds and Ray Liotta) on protective detail but they are severely outnumbered by the amount of hitmen flocking to town to put Aces in a hole.

There are a truly ridiculous number of celebrities in this movie from Ben Affleck to Chris Pine and a ridiculous amount of violence besides.  Those things I liked.  The Big Twist is pretty easy to figure out and some of the humor is so over-the-top it's grotesque.  These things I didn't.  Overall, it's a fun popcorn film that's good for when you just want something loud in the background or need to turn your brain off for a while.

The Muppets (2011)

Nominated for Best Original Song    Merry Christmas time!  Or whatever you celebrate.  Personally, I'm a pagan who was married to a Jew and is now dating a Unitarian.  I celebrate everything.  Rob's dad was in town from Tuesday until Christmas Eve (Saturday, which is when I'm writing this.  Not sure when it's actually going to be posted).  Rob is working a 24-hour shift Christmas Day so we did all our gift exchanges early.  I got a Kindle Fire and a bunch of other cool stuff which I am super-happy about.  The Fire was a joint effort between Rob and Christy and I appreciate both of them very much.

The reason I mention Rob's dad was because Rob had to go to work Friday, which meant that I would be hanging out with his dad alone.  Fortunately, he immediately set me at ease by suggesting we go to the movies.  And then earned a gold star when he wanted to see The Muppets.

I fucking love the Muppets.  I grew up on reruns of the old Muppet Show and I would go to the Muppet theater exhibit at Disney World every year.  I saw all of their movies at one point or another growing up.

The take on the movie is very adult, although of course, it's family friendly.  Walter and his brother Gary (Jason Segal) grew up in Smalltown.  Walter always knew he was different and coped with it by becoming a borderline obsessive fan of The Muppet Show.  On a trip to Los Angeles with his brother and his brother's girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams), Walter is horribly disappointed to learn that the Muppet Studios is run-down and all but condemned.  While exploring Kermit's old office, Walter overhears a dastardly plot by Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to tear down the studio and drill for oil.  The Muppets' contract states that unless they come up with the money to buy the studio back by a certain date, they will lose it forever.  Walter, Gary, and Mary set off in search of Kermit to prevent this travesty.  Kermit is concerned but world-weary and doubts that he can convince all the Muppets to come back together for a telethon.  But, bolstered by Walter's boundless enthusiasm, he agrees to try.

There are a ton of cameos by celebrities and enough references to older shows and movies that no one could be bored.  It's an instant classic, a film you could watch over and over.  Self-aware but never cynical, it recalls the glory days of their highest fame and proves that you don't have to be edgy or hard to be relevant.  You just have to be great.  And the Muppets are awesome.

Love and Other Drugs (2010)

Merry Christmas, people who celebrate it!     The Christy pick was late this month.  I wish I could have some grand excuse, but I forgot to move it to the top of the queue until a week ago.  My bad.

Christy had told me that she found this movie "surprising" when she recommended it to me.  So I watched it intending to be surprised.  There were a number of elements that I found interesting but none that really jumped out and grabbed me so I called her up a minute ago and asked her to refresh me on what exactly she meant.

She said she wasn't expecting the first sex scene to be quite so in-your-face.  That, I will give her.  It is more graphic than I would have guessed.  I personally was not expecting Anne Hathaway to get naked as often as she does.  I guess something about sharing screen time with Jake Gyllenhaal makes her feel comfortable because she got topless in Brokeback Mountain too.

Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a pharmaceutical rep for Pfizer in the late 90's.  He meets Maggie (Anne Hathaway), a 26-year-old with Parkinson's, while trying to get her doctor (Hank Azaria) to switch his scrips from Prozac to Zoloft.  They set out simply using each other and then sort of haphazardly have a relationship.  Around this time, Jamie gets the Viagra account and his career takes off.  But does he want to, or even should he be, saddled with a girlfriend with a degenerative neurological disorder?

I found that this movie wasn't nearly as pandering as other romantic comedies Christy has forced me to watch.  It may have been better quality actors or just a better script, but it seemed much more realistic, like it could have worked out the way it was depicted between the two main characters.  Now that I think of it, I really didn't care for any of the movie except for the scenes with the two leads.  And the ones with his character's brother (Josh Gad).  Those were hilarious.

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

  I love this movie.  It still makes me happy to watch, even a decade later.  This was a great re-imagining of the old Washington Irving story that was originally about a cowardly schoolteacher running in fear from a local legend.

Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) is a man of science.  His methods are unorthodox for 1799 New York and he annoys the local magistrates so much that they send him upstate to the little town of Sleepy Hollow to solve a series of murders.  The locals are convinced that the Headless Horseman, the restless spirit of an angry Hessian mercenary (Christopher Walken), is behind the killings.  Crane disbelieves but stays to investigate, especially after being introduced to the lovely Katrina (Christina Ricci).  The bodies continue to pile up and, after a personal encounter with the spirit, Crane begins to entertain the notion that maybe the locals are onto something.  He must untangle a web of small-town secrets in order to discover who is calling the Horseman from his grave and using him for revenge.

I never liked Christina Ricci as a blonde -- I think it makes her look washed out -- but other than that, I have zero complaints about this movie.  It's got science and magic, humor, some creepiness, a great cast, and an even better story.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

  I found myself bored in places by this movie.  It's like when you see a magic show that isn't very good.  You start looking for the trick.  I can't imagine anyone who would be surprised by anything in this movie.  There were a couple of brighter spots, performances by Stephen Fry and Kelly Reid that were quite good.  This is the first chance I've had to see Noomi Rapace since I'm still 160 movies away from the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  She does a pretty decent job.  I think I was expecting more from Jared Harris as Moriarty.  After Mark Strong's performance in the first Sherlock Holmes movie, I would have liked to see Moriarty be more forceful, more dynamic.

Dr. Watson (Jude Law) is on the eve of his wedding when he is dragged into yet another case with his friend Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.).  This time it's a web of suspicious deaths and terrorist bombings that Holmes is convinced leads to the door of Professor James Moriarty (Jared Harris), a math prodigy and esteemed lecturer.  The lynchpin of the whole investigation is the brother of a gypsy fortune teller named Sim (Noomi Rapace) who must be found before these bombings provoke a war between nations.

Anyone who is familiar with the original Conan Doyle stories will see all of this coming from a mile away, especially the conclusion.  There are a few moments of humor sprinkled therein but not enough for me to recommend this to anyone.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011)

  I finally got to go to the theater!  Rob has been wanting to see this since the first trailer came out.  I've never been a huge fan of the series but this one looked pretty decent.

No joke, I have now been banned by my boyfriend from discussing movies we see together for 24 hours after we've seen them.  Ghost Protocol sparked a two-hour long argument discussion.  He said I was overly critical.  Can you imagine?!  And why was I told this?  Because there is a certain revelation at the end of the film that I said ruined the experience for me.  I think that if movies are to be considered art, they must be held to the same level of criticism as any other art form.  If I had read this movie as a novel, I would have been very annoyed at said revelation because--to me--it squanders an opportunity to make a character a more complicated and thereby more interesting individual.  His opinion--which he is entitled to have--is that movies should be enjoyed for their entertainment value only.  I'm not saying that this movie should be on the same pedestal as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel by any means, I'm just saying that I think it could have made more of itself and instead settled for being non-controversial.

The movie begins several years after MI3 and Benji (Simon Pegg) is a full-fledged field operative now.  One of his assignments is to break Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) out of a Russian prison.  Ethan is immediately brought back on board and told to break into the Kremlin and recover some data tapes.  Unfortunately, it's a trap and Ethan's team are the fall guys for an explosion that destroys a quarter of the building.  They all escape, mostly unharmed, and Ethan meets with the Director of IMF (Tom Wilkinson) who tells him that a supervillain codenamed Cobalt has stolen nuclear launch codes and now a trigger.  Ethan and his team must stop Cobalt before he can start WWIII.  To do this, Ethan and fellow teammate Brant (Jeremy Renner) must perform some stupidly dangerous stunts, like drop down a cooling shaft with a giant metal fan and scale the outside of the Burj Hotel in Dubai, all with no backup.  If they get caught, they'll be labeled terrorists and shot and if they fail, the world will end up a nuclear wasteland.

The stuntwork is really good in this film.  Tom Cruise stops a number of things with his face, like a BMW, a window ledge, and an automated parking garage.  That alone would be entertaining.  Jeremy Renner was funnier than I thought he would be.  He has a cute little exchange with Simon Pegg that I enjoyed.  Really, there was nothing to keep this from being a fun little piece of brain candy except for that exchange at the end.  I was so disappointed in that.

Golden Globes Nominations 2012

It's that time of year again!  Since so many people checked out last year's list, I thought I'd do another rundown of the nominations for this year's Golden Globes.

Best Motion Picture — Drama

The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
War Horse

Holy crap, I haven't seen any of these.  In my defense, Hugo and War Horse aren't even out yet and The Descendants just started a week ago.  I think.  I'm unemployed.  I haven't been to the movies as often as usual.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama

Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin

Same here.  I haven't even heard of Albert Nobbs.  

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

George Clooney, The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar
Michael Fassbender, Shame
Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

Did they just decide to go for the same people as usual?  

Best Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical

50/50
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
My Week With Marilyn

God I hope the Oscar noms don't look like this.  I'll be screwed.  Maybe I should go ahead and load up my queue with these, just in case.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical

Jodie Foster, Carnage
Charlize Theron, Young Adult
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Kate Winslet, Carnage

From what I can tell by the previews, Michelle Williams has got this in the bag.  Even though I thought that movie was supposed to be a drama.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical

Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brendan Gleeson, The Guard
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 50/50
Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid, Love
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris

Best Animated Feature Film

The Adventures of Tintin
Arthur Christmas
Cars 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

I hope Rango wins.  That's about all I can do there, since I haven't seen the majority in category.  But I thought Rango was way better than Cars 2.

Best Foreign Language Film

The Flowers of War (China) 
In the Land of Blood and Honey (USA)
The Kid With a Bike (Belgium)
A Separation (Iran)
The Skin I Live In (Spain)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Shailene Woodley, The Descendants

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Kenneth Branagh, My Week with Marilyn
Albert Brooks, Drive
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Viggo Mortensen, A Dangerous Method
Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Director — Motion Picture

Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
George Clooney, The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Best Screenplay — Motion Picture

Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon - The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius - The Artist
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash - The Descendants
Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin - Moneyball

Best Original Score — Motion Picture

Ludovic Bource - The Artist
Abel Korzeniowski - W.E.
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Howard Shore - Hugo
John Williams - War Horse

Best Original Song — Motion Picture

"Hello Hello" — Gnomeo & Juliet, music by Elton John, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
"The Keeper"— Machine Gun Preacher, music and lyrics by Chris Cornell
"Lay Your Head Down" — Albert Nobbs, music by Brian Byrne, lyrics by Glenn Close
"The Living Proof" — The Help, music by Mary J. Blige, Thomas Newman, Harvey Mason Jr.; lyrics by Mary J. Blige, Harvey Mason Jr., Damon Thomas
"Masterpiece" — W.E., music and lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry

Best Television Series — Drama

"American Horror Story"
"Boardwalk Empire"
"Boss"
"Game of Thrones"
"Homeland"

Ok, we're back on firmer ground here with TV.  I've been watching a lot of that recently.  I think GoT is the best one, hands down.  American Horror Story sucked.  I couldn't get past the pilot.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Drama

Claire Danes, "Homeland"
Mireille Enos, "The Killing"
Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife"
Madeleine Stowe, "Revenge"
Callie Thorne, "Necessary Roughness"

Out of all of these, the only one I watched with any regularity was "Revenge" and I don't even think Madeleine Stowe is the best actress on that show.  

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Drama

Steve Buscemi, "Boardwalk Empire"
Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"
Kelsey Grammer, "Boss"
Jeremy Irons, "The Borgias"
Damian Lewis, "Homeland"

I'm going to say Jeremy Irons is taking that trophy because I really liked The Borgias.  I know everybody loves Breaking Bad but I haven't seen it yet and I'm like four seasons behind.  I love Damian Lewis from "Life" but I thought "Homeland" looked really depressing.

Best Television Series — Comedy or Musical

"Enlightened"
"Episodes"
"Glee"
"Modern Family"
"New Girl"

Glee.  I know, I know, I rooted for it last year but I don't watch any of the others and I really hated "New Girl".

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Comedy or Musical

Laura Dern, "Enlightened"
Zooey Deschanel, "New Girl"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
Laura Linney, "The Big C"
Amy Poehler, "Parks and Recreation"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Comedy or Musical

Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
David Duchovny, "Californication"
Johnny Galecki, "The Big Bang Theory"
Thomas Jane, "Hung"
Matt LeBlanc, "Episodes"

Who is still watching "Hung"?  Seriously?

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

"Downton Abbey"
"The Hour"
"Mildred Pierce"
"Too Big to Fail"

"Cinema Verite"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Romola Garai, "The Hour"
Diane Lane, "Cinema Verite"
Elizabeth McGovern, "Downton Abbey" (Masterpiece)
Emily Watson, "Appropriate Adult"
Kate Winslet, "Mildred Pierce"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Hugh Bonneville, "Downtown Abbey" (Masterpiece)
Idris Elba, "Luther"
William Hurt, "Too Big to Fail"
Bill Nighy, "Page Eight" (Masterpiece)
Dominic West, "The Hour"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Jessica Lange, "American Horror Story"
Kelly MacDonald, "Boardwalk Empire"
Maggie Smith, "Downtown Abbey" (Masterpiece)
Sofia Vergara, "Modern Family"
Evan Rachel Wood, "Mildred Pierce"

I have to say, as much as I didn't like that show, Jessica Lange was creepy as shit as the weird neighbor.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Peter Dinklage, "Game of Thrones"
Paul Giamatti, "Too Big to Fail"
Guy Pearce, "Mildred Pierce"
Tim Robbins, "Cinema Verite"
Eric Stonestreet, "Modern Family"

I seriously hope Peter Dinklage wins it.  Not just because he was outstanding as Tyrion Lannister, but because I want to see him get a statue as big as he is.  ...too far?  

Show Boat (1951)

  I'm going to talk about the movie.  Give me a couple of minutes to rant first.

Rob and I went to Philadelphia this weekend so we could visit some friends of his.  I had written the post for yesterday (She Done Him Wrong) and, I thought, set it up to automatically post on Saturday.  I checked it around midnight and it had not posted.  So that was my bad.

How was Philly?  It's exactly like what you've heard.  We went to Pat's King of Steaks for an authentic cheesesteak and I stood on the plaque where Sylvester Stallone stood while filming Rocky.  Yay, me.

We get home today and I go to write this post only to find that the outlet that my computer, printer, and modem are plugged into has gone bad.  I have just returned from the store for an extension cord to use until I can get the maintenance people out here tomorrow to replace the outlet.  Why, yes, the universe is conspiring against me, thank you for noticing.

Anyway, Show Boat.  I had to watch this movie in sections over a couple of days while I was getting the last of my Christmas cards addressed and generally fussing around between my place and Rob's.  It's a semi-depressing film, which I can relate to, about a group of performers who travel the Mississippi by paddle boat.  It's even mentioned in the Smithsonian Museum of American History.  These traveling shows would stop at various points along the river and perform.

Julie (Ava Gardner) is the star of the Cotton Blossom river show but runs into a spate of legal trouble because she is half-black.  She is replaced by the daughter of the boat captain, Magnolia (Katherine Grayson), who falls in love with the replacement leading man, a gambler named Gaylord Ravenall (Howard Keel).  They leave after Nollie's mother (Agnes Moorehead) disapproves and move to the city.  For a while, their luck is flush but then turns sour.  Gay leaves her so she'd be able to go back to her family but Nollie auditions to be a singer at a nightclub.  Julie, slipping into alcoholism, is the main star but leaves so Nollie can have her spot.  Her father sees her and welcomes her back to the Cotton Blossom, even though she is pregnant.  Three years go by and Gay is gambling on a riverboat when he meets Julie, obviously the worse for wear.  She upbraids him for leaving Nollie and their child.  He realizes that he is an asshole and goes back to the Cotton Blossom.

The songs are okay.  There are only a couple of stand-outs in "Ole Man River" and "Can't Help Loving That Man of Mine".  This was one of Ava Gardner's break-out roles and she does a great job but the two stars are Grayson and Keel, who did several pictures together and work very well.  Definitely worth a watch.

She Done Him Wrong (1933)

  This is one of Mae West's last movies and Cary Grant's firsts.  It was based on a stage play West wrote called "Diamond Lil" that was so raunchy the studios said it would never get made into a movie.  West took that as a challenge, changed the title, and made all explicit references into innuendoes.  And as you can see, not only did it get made, it got nominated for Best Picture.  I'm not sure what the lesson is there.  Maybe "sex sells, but implied sex sells better"?

Lady Lou (Mae West) is the local heartthrob down at Gus Jordan's beer hall.  Everybody wants her.  Including her jailbird boyfriend Chick (Owen Moore).  See, Chick thinks Lou has been waiting faithfully for him to get out of jail, but a girl's gotta eat and diamonds don't grow on trees.  Not to mention that there's a foxy new temperance leader (Cary Grant) next door.  Still, she's not entirely mercenary.  She tries to help out a young woman on the verge of suicide.  It's not her fault that Gus Jordan is running a human trafficking ring, as well as some counterfeiting on the side.  How's a girl to avoid a jealous ex, the law, and still find time to woo a man of impeccable morals?

It's not my favorite West film by a longshot but it's not a bad one.  I think her hand on the screenplay is a little too noticeable for my tastes.  It almost plays as a vanity piece, but I guess, if my vanity got me to the Oscars I wouldn't complain.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

  I love musicals.  This one was one of my very favorites for a long time.  Probably because of Howard Keel.  Without a doubt, Keel was one of the best leading musical men of his day and that's a day that included Gene Kelly, Robert Preston, and Fred Astaire.  He just has a great growly voice and he's so tall!

Adam (Howard Keel) is a frontiersman living with his six brothers.  As the eldest, he decides he needs a wife so he goes to town and woos Milly (Jane Powell), a hard-working but unappreciated work house cook, in a day.  She gets to his cabin, realizes that the brothers are basically heathens and sets about civilizing them.  Once they see how fantastic having a woman around is, the boys decide they want wives too.  Adam reads about the Rape of the Sabines and gets a great idea.  His brothers can just steal the women they want!  They sneak into town, locate the objects of their affections, and then kidnap them.  The incensed townsfolk give chase but the boys set off an avelanche, sealing the route til spring. Milly, however, furious at the felonious brothers, kicks them all out of the cabin to live in the barn.  Slowly, over the winter, the brothers court their stolen ladies.

Of course there are a number of colorful dance scenes, the most notable being the Barn-Raising.  I didn't even know it until I checked IMDB, but Dorcas is played by a very young Julie Newmar.  Who wouldn't want to end up with Catwoman?

The Brothers Bloom (2008)

  I like weird little movies.  This one is plenty weird but there was just something off about it that prevented me from enjoying it.  For a movie about con men, I didn't feel fooled at all.

The Bloom brothers, Stephen and Bloom, are great con men.  The best in the world.  They grew up in a series of foster homes, and learned how to swindle in order to make themselves feel better about never fitting in.  Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) was the brains of the operation, the one that came up with the cons, and his younger brother Bloom (Adrian Brody) acted them out.  The two stole millions but Bloom grew unsatisfied with the constant lying and quit the team.  Stephen ropes him into One Last Job, conning a millionaire shut-in (Rachel Weisz) into a globe-trotting adventure revolving around an 8th Century prayer book.  But Bloom starts to wonder who exactly is the mark in this grift, the girl or him.

It was really difficult to determine exactly what timeline the movie was supposed to be set in.  All the cars date it to present day but the costumes and the sets seem pulled from the twenties and thirties.  For instance, who takes steamer ships to Europe anymore?  Not a cruise ship, an actual steamer.

Parts of it were cute but, overall, it just left me a little flat.  It reminded me too much of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but without the charm.